UNWANTED SAME-SEX ATTRACTION
Focused Resources for Men
Discover more about God's purposes for your male sexuality and the healing available to you in the resources below.
Videos
Garry Ingraham shares his story of being rescued from a world of sexual brokenness (gay lifestyle, pornography addiction, masturbation, divorce, etc.) by Jesus. Garry & his wife now run Love & Truth Network sharing the same love that rescued them.
DL Foster takes us through his childhood in a Pentecostal-Holiness church, ongoing molestation by someone there, his choice to live a profligate gay lifestyle and God's mercy that came one day to set him free.
Kegan Wesley shares about being raped, entering a life of homosexuality and drug addiction, being rescued by Jesus Christ.
Dr. Foster reveals the experiences in his life that led to sexual addiction, homosexual confusion, and male prostitution.
“Such Were Some of You” lays out the facts about healing homosexual confusion provided by Jesus Christ.
Books
From Queer to Christ
by George Carneal
George Carneal grew up in the ’70s, raised by a Southern Baptist minister in the ultra-conservative Bible Belt where his world revolved around the church, country fried chicken, and trying to fit in with other boys. As disco music pulsated through the speakers in his bedroom, he plotted his escape from the misery and boredom of Southern suburbia before landing in Los Angeles; a city of glitz and hedonism. Much like Alice as she traveled through the looking glass, this is George’s journey through a queer culture fantasyland filled with drag queens, drugs, and dangerous situations before discovering healing, joy, and peace in Christ. This true story details his struggles in a religious world at odds with, and often hostile toward, homosexuals.
Sing Over Me
by Dennis Jernigan
Since 1988, I’ve been publicly sharing the story of how I walked out of a perceived homosexual identity. Why? Because I remember being a boy wondering if freedom was possible. The church didn’t have answers. The world didn’t have answers. The gay community just tried to make me give up and accept this as my innate identity. Yet, something deep inside of me kept knocking at the door of my heart saying, “There must be more. This cannot be your ultimate destiny and identity.” When God met me with the Truth of the transforming power of Jesus Christ, and I began what I call my incredible journey, I began to realize that I’d been lied to by the world and the philosophies of man. After seven years of freedom under my belt, the Lord asked me to begin publicly sharing my story because there were others out there who felt the same as I felt that there must be more. This book is for those who want to experience God in an intimate, life-changing way, regardless of whether or not they’ve ever struggled with unwanted same-sex attraction. This is my story, yet really it’s the story of redemption found in knowing Jesus Christ intimately. –Dennis Jernigan If you have read Gay Girl, Good God: The Story of Who I Was, and Who God Has Always Been by Jackie Hill Perry, or God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships by Matthew Vines, or UnClobber: Rethinking Our Misuse of the Bible on Homosexuality by Colby Martin–you will want to read Sing Over Me by Dennis Jernigan
Sexual Healing
by David Kyle Foster
Contains study sections for individuals and small groups:
– From an author who has been redeemed from a lifestyle of sexual addiction and transformed by the grace of God, finding both healing and forgiveness
– Written in a humble, transparent tone
– Root Sources for Improper Sexual Development
– Pornography
– Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
– A Comprehensive Game Plan for Sexual Healing
The Broken Image
by Leanne Payne
Unhealthy relationships and traumatic experiences do much to upset our personal wholeness. Leanne Payne, through a ministry of healing prayer, has encountered many suffering souls that have been helped through her administration of gentle advice as a psychologist and Christian. Broken Image reveals Payne’s experiences healing the pain of patients struggling to come to terms with their own sense of identity.
Strength in Weakness
by Andrew Comiskey
Help and hope for men who are undermined by silent fathers, harassed by pornography and sexual temptation, afraid of failing those they love most, angered by past relationships with women. Help and hope for women lost in their relationships with others, betrayed by fathers, husbands or male leaders, wounded by sexual assault, paralyzed by self-hatred.
Andrew Comiskey sees our weakness as “a threshold for holy power”–the point at which God can meet us for healing and equip us for service. He has seen it happen again and again. During many years of ministry, Comiskey, his wife, Annette, and their fellow “strugglers” have accompanied hundreds of wounded men and women to transformation at the cross of Christ.
Telling real-life stories of despair, hope and lasting change, Comiskey lays out the foundations for healing from relational and sexual sin. With chapters focusing on particular areas of vulnerability for men and women, on the battle over homosexuality in church and culture, and on the essential role of the church in ongoing healing, Strength in Weakness makes clear the way to the cross–God’s sufficient answer to our deepest needs.
The Journey Out
by Ken Williams
After struggling with feelings of hopelessness, sexual identity confusion, unwanted same-sex desires, and even thoughts of suicide, Williams discovered only Jesus could offer him the inner healing he was seeking. Now, he works to help others find the transformation they desire by demystifying homosexuality and gender issues, connecting with Christ, and learning from real-life stories.
Created for Love: Reclaiming Jesus's Vision for Sexuality, Gender & Relationships
by Andrew Franklin
Jesus declared that love would be the basis of our witness to the world. Today, the greatest threat to the spiritual health and witness of this generation is confusion, misconceptions, and compromise regarding love. What is love, and what does it mean to demonstrate love in our more intimate and important relationships? What part do our bodies and gender play in how we define and live out love? In using his background of identification in the LGBT community, as well as drawing from over 10 years of ministry experience, Andrew revisits the gospel to see how it speaks into the loaded topics of sex, gender, and relationships. As he does so, he invites us to see these areas not as issues to take a stand on, but as part of our common humanity that Jesus can use to awaken in us a love that is truly supernatural.
Healing & Recovery: Perspective for Young Men with Sexualized Attachments
by Floyd Godfrey
Many heterosexual young men get discouraged and confused by symptoms of sexualized attachments. Not only might they experience depression, anxiety, addiction, or other mental health challenges, but also confusion about sexuality, identity, and orientation. This workbook is designed to help young men develop clarity and self-awareness around these issues and find a pathway for healing and recovery in their lives.
My Genes Made Me Do It!
by Neil and Briar Whitehead
The scientific facts are now indisputable—homosexuality is not biologically hard-wired in any way. In fact half the homosexual population moves towards heterosexuality in the natural course of life — it’s just that very few people ever hear about it and strong political agendas have overrriden the facts. Any biological contribution is weak and indirect in its effects on sexual preference. Today there are more people in the West who used to be gay than people who are currently practising gays, lesbians and bisexuals. Sexual orientation is overwhelmingly environmentally caused and extremely fluid.
More than 10,000 scientific papers and publications have contributed to the book's conclusions, and highest levels of integrity were followed in the research. It has now been translated into 6 different languages, including Mandarin and Arabic. The book discusses the roles of genes (and epigenetics) hormones, brain structure and neurology, social factors, instincts, and culture. It follows the processes of heterosexual development and formation of gender identity.
This sixth edition simplifies the section on genetics. The book is probably the most comprehensive and well-researched publication you will find anywhere on homosexuality and the scientific evidence.
Neil and Briar Whitehead researched homosexuality for 30 years. Neil is a research scientist with a PhD in biochemistry. Briar is a writer.
Am I Gay?
by Garry Ingraham
My friend, Pastor John Hawco, reflects a statement from one of his own pastors: “In the American church, my fear is that many people have been inoculated to the gospel. They think they have the real thing, but they’re confusing a form of religion for authentic Christian faith.”
This is a perfect description of the kind of faith I had growing up in my Christian family and church. And I lived with a secret - many shameful secrets. Sexual abuse and early sexualization by peers led to porn addiction and chronic masturbation.
To make matters worse, as a boy and young man growing up in a culture of Christian fundamentalism, my emotional and sexual attractions were toward other guys. I lived in the dominant shadow of a religious, rules-based Christianity, while desire for gay relationships and curiosity about LGBTQ+ culture grew intensely.
This is a story of a God who relentlessly pursues. This is a story that reveals what the church does not often do well regarding sexual sin or identity struggles. More importantly, it’s a story of how the church can be far better - equipped to live in love and truth through strength and compassion; inviting broken people into genuine and growing relationships with Jesus and His authentic community. The church can become a vibrant, well-prepared “teaching hospital” for all the issues and brokenness embraced today by hurting people craving belonging and purpose – love and meaning.
I once was broken and lost. I invite you to learn my story–how I found belonging, purpose, and meaning through the greatest and most enduring love of God.
Ministries
Transforming Congregations
If you’re concerned about what’s happening in The United Methodist Church as well as Christian culture around the issues of sexuality, if you want to become equipped to do something about it… and if you think that it’s more important to reach out in love than to simply make statements, you’ve come to the right place.
We want to help you make a difference – in your own life, in your local United Methodist congregation, and in the worldwide United Methodist Church. God’s grace is so amazing and so powerful that we don’t have to be defined or ruled by deeply rooted sexual sin or relational brokenness. As you look through our website know that we would love to encourage and help your church begin to live out that truth in love.
Desert Stream Ministries
Desert Stream/Living Waters Ministries provides help for Christians struggling with sexual and relational problems. Our help is based on the biblical foundation of compassion, integrity, and dependence on God. We seek to convey Jesus, “full of grace and truth,” (John 1:14) to broken ones seeking mercy. Through many years of serving the church through healing ministry, we at Desert Stream/Living Waters are more convinced than ever that Jesus Christ is the answer to broken humanity. May we continue to impart His healing, equip Christians, and proclaim His transforming love to all who have ears to hear!
Restored Hope Network
Restored Hope is a membership governed, inter-denominational network dedicated to restoring hope to those broken by sexual and relational sin, especially those impacted by homosexuality. We proclaim that Jesus Christ has life-changing power for all who submit to Christ as Lord; we also seek to equip His church to impart that transformation. Restored Hope Network is a coalition of ministries serving those who desire to overcome sinful relational and sexual issues in their lives and those impacted by homosexuality. Restored Hope works alongside the body of Christ, the Church, and to connect those seeking help with local member ministries and other resources that are available, as well as support, equip and connect the local member ministries.
Help 4 Families Ministry
Living Stones Ministries/Help 4 Families is a non-profit, Christ-centered, non-denominational organization dedicated to helping families with issues of homosexuality and transgenderism. Living Stones Ministries is part of a network of ministries around the world–“Proclaiming, educating, and impacting the world with the Biblical truth that freedom from homosexuality is possible when Jesus is Lord of one’s life.” Living Stones Ministries takes its name from the Bible verse in I Peter 2:4-5: “As you come to Him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to Him—you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”
Pure Desire Ministries
Pure Desire exists to provide a safe place for hope and healing from the effects of sexual brokenness. We educate and equip the Church in the development of a healing ministry. Through small group resources for men, women, and teens, on-site or online counseling, training events, and ministry partnerships, Pure Desire is leading the way in the battle for sexual integrity in the church.
Pure Desire Ministries began in the local church. Our founders, Dr. Ted and Diane Roberts, recognized the pervasiveness of sexual struggle in the church. The evasive answers of the past only gave men and women a message of “try harder,” which kept them isolated in their shame and struggle.
Over the course of two decades, they developed a strategy that is biblically-based, clinically informed, and highly successful in creating lasting change. In 2007, Pure Desire became an independent 501(c)(3) aimed at helping the Church throughout the country and around the world.
Restoring Wholeness
Restoring Wholeness Ministries is a cross-cultural, inter denominational counseling, support group and leadership training ministry aimed at addressing relational and sexual issues. We are built on the Gospel of Jesus Christ, The Ultimate Restorer of people. Our vision is to equip the Church to take the message of reconciliation, restoration, and redemption to those who seek healing through Jesus Christ from relational and sexual brokenness. We offer a comprehensive “LIFE Matters Leadership Equipping Course” to pastors, pastoral care workers, youth leaders, church counselors and lay workers.
Equipped to Love Ministries
A few years ago Ken and Elizabeth, with our friend Rodger, began meeting together over coffee to share how God encountered us—it wasn’t long before we realized our experiences were relevant and spoke directly to the needs many people face. So, we resolved to establish a resource for people longing to understand homosexuality better and find resolution, and Equipped to Love was born. Ken and Elizabeth followed the Lord into sexual wholeness and today cast vision to countless others seeking God’s heart for their sexual identities. Drawing upon their combined experiences of walking away from homosexuality, they offer understanding of the issue that opens doors for compassion and understanding.
BeBroken Ministries
The story of Be Broken Ministries began with the story of Jonathan & Elaine Daugherty. Their personal journey through the devastation of sexual addiction and brokenness led to the formation of the ministry. As healing began, first for Jonathan, and later for Elaine, they started to realize just how prevalent sexual brokenness was for families nationwide. Not wanting their healing to be in vain, they decided to begin reaching out to other men and their families who could benefit from the principles they learned on the journey to freedom and restoration. The road was difficult and painful, but the results have been worth every step. And it will be worth it for your family too...We want you to know Jonathan & Elaine's stories so you may know that "with God all things are possible." Follow the links below to learn more about the journey they have taken to find freedom, peace, and joy.
Transformed Ministries (based in UK)
Transformed Ministries has been established out of the freedom I have experienced from same-sex attraction since giving my life to the Lord in 2015 I believe that Jesus provides us all with a way through, he helps us to overcome temptation and empowers us to bring his message of freedom and transformation to others, regardless of our background and our personal story.
PFOX
Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX) is a national non-profit organization committed to helping ex-gays and parents and friends of gays who want help, hope and community.
PFOX exists to educate, support, and advocate for individuals and parents on the issue of same-sex attraction, and increase others’ understanding and acceptance of the ex-gay community.
We believe that every person seeking positive life change needs and deserves the love and support of family, friends, the community, and the church. That’s why we offer a place for help, a place for truth, and a place for the ex-gay to participate in the conversation about same-sex attraction.
Founded in May 1998, PFOX was created specifically to be an alternative to the misinformed gay family groups which insist that parents can only prove their love for their gay child if they support gay rights and affirm their child’s self-proclaimed gay identity. PFOX teaches parents that it’s ok to love their children without placing any conditions on that love.
Through public awareness campaigns, PFOX has a long and proud history of educating society on the facts about sexual orientation in order to eliminate negative perceptions and discrimination against ex-gays and those trying to overcome same-sex attraction. The thousands of real people who have made a decision to change their lives benefit from their parents, friends and loved ones being equipped with the truth about their struggle.
Celebrate Recovery
Celebrate Recovery (CR) is a Christ-centered, 12 step recovery program for anyone struggling with hurt, pain or addiction of any kind. Celebrate Recovery is a safe place to find community and freedom from the issues that are controlling our life.
While CR is an excellent first step in leaving behind a life of addiction, there is not a strong focus on inner-healing of the past hurts, habits, and hangups that helped form the addiction. For inner healing after attending CR, we highly recommend attending Living Waters.