When you have a friend who has shared with you that they experience attractions to the same sex which they do not want, it can be challenging to sort out how best to support them.  Here are two basic principles we can keep in mind that may help: be intentional and balanced.

Be Intentional

If someone has shared this part of their life with you, it can be taken as a sign of trust.  We want to live up to that compliment by keeping what they’ve said in confidence.  Gossip can turn someone away from the Body of Christ and leave long-lasting wounds.  Be considerate and trustworthy. 

It is also important to occasionally ask your friend how things are going with this temptation. Making an effort to share something personal and having it drift off into thin air can be confusing and humiliating. Having someone check in with you occasionally can be a great encouragement, particularly in a culture where there is often pressure to celebrate this sin.

Also, having someone offer to pray with you can be a great gift. Ask your friend what they would specifically like prayer for. (For example, they may be seeking insight, having trouble sorting through an emotionally dependent relationship, or struggling with loneliness.)

Another great way to offer support is to look for and call out how your friend reflects God's image as His man or woman.  Reinforcing what you see the Holy Spirit doing can uplift and spur a deeper exploration of learning who we truly are in Christ.

Be Balanced

While it can be a great blessing to have an intentionally supportive friend, being seen as a whole person helps build resilience and maturity over the long term.  As with any other friend, learn about their likes/dislikes, personality, skills, spiritual gifts, talents, hobbies, careers, etc. Enjoy their friendship, inviting them to family activities, sharing a meal, or other fun outings.

It is also good to ask them to pray for you in areas you struggle with.  As iron sharpens iron, we are meant to grow in Christ together, offering mutual support.  This allows for the development of everyone’s spiritual gifts.

In I Corinthians 12:14-26, we read about the importance of recognizing each person’s purpose and value in our fellowship:

14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be

20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

As followers of Jesus, we all have room for growth in different aspects of our lives.  Let us press forward then in doing our part in His kingdom!