Some Christians may object to the idea of loving a mother in need while she is seriously considering an abortion or because she has had an abortion, and even going so far as to cite passages of Scripture like Micah 6:8 that command us to “do justice”. However, doing justice without showing “mercy” (which is also commanded in Micah 6:8) is the opposite of what Jesus told us to do. 

Consider that if Jesus’ love were conditional on our good behavior, we would all be headed to hell. Instead, He first loved us before we even knew we needed his help,⁶ which is the only reason any of us have eternal life by trusting Him. That’s what won me over to Jesus — when people loved me before I “deserved it.” We’re called to love our enemies,⁷ and we’re also called to love our brothers and sisters in Christ most closely of all.⁸ 

Of course, love (caring for someone’s wellbeing) certainly doesn’t mean blessing and empowering bad behavior. Sometimes love needs to be tough by establishing boundaries that require repentance (Matthew 18:15-35, Luke 17:1-10). However, godly love is always supposed to be “patient” and “kind” (1 Corinthians 13) in how it is expressed, and its purpose should always be to offer restoration to anyone who has sinned and/or is in need. This does not rule out the need for strongly and sometimes abrasively challenging someone who stubbornly refuses to repent after they are graciously invited to do so. Jesus did this very often to the religious leaders of his day. However, Jesus’ example of abrasive confrontation was always done for the purpose of continuing to call hypocritical people to repentance⁹, and we know that a number of the religious leaders Jesus confronted did in fact eventually repent (John 12:42).

Confrontation sometimes gets a bit intense. However, that dynamic should change if someone repents. If they repent, we are commanded to forgive (Luke 17:3-4) and help restore them “gently” (Galatians 6:1) with “kindness” (Ephesians 4:32).

To help solidify this point, here are just a few of many Scripture passages on the subject:

“...Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44 ESV).

“And have mercy on those [fellow Christians] who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh” (Jude 1:22-23 ESV).

“...God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance” (Romans 2:4 ESV).

“[Jesus said,] ‘This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” (John 15:12 NLT).

Beyond telling us what to do, Jesus also gave us a great example of graciously extending love to someone who has sinned by how He loved the woman caught in adultery in John 8:1-11. When the religious leaders wanted to kill the woman caught in adultery, Jesus instead responded by graciously inviting and empowering the woman to repent. Jesus told her to “go and sin no more”, thus empowering the woman with the hope and power to actually begin doing so.

Consider how many lives would be spared if even just a few mothers who are considering abortion were to experience their neighbors helping them through less-than-ideal circumstances. Whether kindness is extended by a loved one, an acquaintance, a church community, a non-profit organization, or anyone else, unconditional love saves lives.

The most common reason I’ve noticed amongst Christians for not helping mothers in need is a preoccupation with loving themselves, usually mixed with a fear of lacking the wisdom, knowledge, or resources to be positively influential. Selfishness and fear are obviously both deadly sins, but they sadly are both commonly “socially acceptable” and even preached from some pulpits as “wisdom”.

If you don’t believe me, consider some of the following popular misnomers in Christian culture right now:

The list goes on, but all of these arguments above are completely flawed.

Because a new human life is formed at the moment of conception/fertilization, the scope of loving someone considering abortion clearly involves multiple people — the child and the parents. The command to not murder (Leviticus 20:13) should be enough to convince us that abortion is sin, let alone the many commands spelling out the sin of refraining from loving your neighbor. “Do not stand by while your neighbor’s blood is shed; I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:16 CEB) is one of the clearest of them all.

Even though many Christians know they should help, they often still listen to Satan’s voice, which cripples them with fear. And then they do nothing.

Not everything Satan says is totally false, and it’s important to be able to discern how he twists the truth.

For example, it’s very true that giving birth to an unplanned child often does cause a mother’s (and even a whole family’s) living standards to become more difficult. I’ve seen this firsthand with a friend — a single mother of three daughters — whom my wife and I led back to Christ several years ago. She gave birth to an unplanned child last year while unmarried and enduring extremely difficult financial circumstances (she was on the edge of homelessness).

Giving birth cost her a lot. The father abandoned the family, and the newborn nearly died of COVID. The mother then lost her job, her home, and stability in the relationship with her own mother. The young family became homeless for many months.

When my wife and I learned about all this, we organized many efforts to help restore her family to a stable living situation. But think of how much easier it would have been for the mother to simply kill the unplanned child to avoid the difficulties. Scenarios like this help make it much more understandable why some women choose abortion.

It can be daunting and overwhelming to consider helping a woman considering whether or not to get an abortion. But is struggling to discern how to best love someone really so difficult that we should just avoid it altogether? The truth is, God empowers and walks with us as we step outside of our comfort zone to help.

Didn’t Jesus say the following?

“If you [only] love those who love you,... what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” (Matthew 5:46-47 ESV).

“Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39 ESV).

“Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them” (Matthew 7:12 ESV).

“...apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5 ESV).

“...with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26 ESV).

As believers, we have already been given the Holy Spirit, and that means we already have “everything we need for life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3). We are fully capable of loving our neighbors well because God gives us the wisdom we need to obey Him when we ask. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” And Jesus said in Mark 11:24, “Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

Now let’s talk practically. Consider if you were the person considering an abortion; how would you want someone to help you? Really think about this. A lot. Also ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you how to best love the woman (and often the whole family) in need. As we ask and truly trust that God will give us the wisdom we need, He gives it to us. Every time.

Then, go do it.

You don’t need to do it all by yourself. There can be wisdom and strength in finding others to partner with you in helping, however, don’t wait around for others to initiate. First seek God, and He will help you know what to do in every circumstance.

Psalm 1 describes how those who “meditate” on God’s commands are blessed in every area of life. The Hebrew word “shema” used to describe how we should respond to God in Deuteronomy 4 (and quoted by Jesus in Mark 12:29) means to listen and obey. In other words, if you haven’t obeyed, you haven’t really listened.

Jesus didn’t give us suggestions. He laid out His Way as the only way for any believer to experience joy-filled, abundant life.

So the next time you have an opportunity to be a “good Samaritan” to someone who is facing difficult circumstances and considering abortion, how will you respond?

SOURCES
¹ History of Abortion. Lumitos. (link)
² The abortion and mental health controversy: A comprehensive literature review of common ground agreements, disagreements, actionable recommendations, and research opportunities. Sage Journals. (link)
³ The abortion and mental health controversy: A comprehensive literature review of common ground agreements, disagreements, actionable recommendations, and research opportunities. PubMed Central, NIH National Libarary of Medicine. (link)
⁴ Women Who Suffered Emotionally from Abortion: A Qualitative Synthesis of Their Experiences. Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons, Volume 22, Number 4, Winter 2017. (link)
⁵ Madeira JL. Aborted emotions: regret, relationality, and regulation. Michigan J Gender & Law 2014;21:1-66.
⁶ 1 John 4:19
⁷ Matthew 5:43-48
⁸ 2 Peter 3:9
⁹ Galatians 6:10