by Debra Baty

It can be a shock to discover those you’ve known and loved for years embracing the idea that their inner sense of “gender” is taking precedence over their body.  Suddenly, the boy you’ve known since childhood announces he is “really” a girl (or vice-versa).  This is often accompanied by a list of demands, including using alternative pronouns, assistance with or support of medicalization, or other appearance changes.  New terms, such as “gender fluid,” “nonbinary,” etc., can be tossed about, along with a re-telling of the individual’s past through the lens of these ideas.
 

How can one respond to all this?  Here are six ways…

1.  Prayer

Ask the Lord for wisdom and the ability to remain calm and at peace amid this storm.  Pray for your loved one to be open to questions about these ideas and for protection from the negative influence of others.

2.  Personal Support

Find those who have been through this or who are currently going through this in their family.  This is now more available than a few years ago, which is a sad sign of the times.  Being able to hear from others in similar circumstances can be a lifeline, particularly in a culture that has been swept up by gender ideology.* 

3.  Education

There are also great resources available for families trying to understand what is behind gender ideology and how it can seem like an enticing answer for confused, vulnerable individuals.** 

4.  Establish Boundaries

Boundaries may vary due to the age of the person involved. Those under 18 can involve a full-court press approach, while young adults will have the liberty to make their own choices. January Littlejohn offers a good example of parenting children through gender identity indoctrination. Remaining grounded in the truth of reality may be met with opposition but can lead to long-term benefits.

5.  Lead with Curiosity

As you become familiar with these new ideas and terms, ask questions to help your loved one self-examine the assumptions underlying gender ideology.

6.  Love Over the Long Term

It can take 7-10 years for individuals to work through the implications of taking on a new, false gender identity.  Be prepared to love them and remain consistent with what is true over an extended time.

*  A monthly support group is available through Transforming Congregations /  Love & Truth Network.  Free registration is available here.

** More information on books and websites, practical assistance, and insights for your situation are available through contacting Transforming Congregations / Love and Truth Network