“Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you’re going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: ‘He started something he couldn’t finish.’ Or can you imagine a king going into battle against another king without first deciding whether it is possible with his ten thousand troops to face the twenty thousand troops of the other? And if he decides he can’t, won’t he send an emissary and work out a truce? Simply put, if you’re not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can’t be my disciple. Salt is excellent. But if the salt goes flat, it’s useless, good for nothing. Are you listening to this? Really listening?” (Luke 14:28-35).

There’s been an uncertain trend within evangelical circles over the last several decades, undoubtedly influenced by compassion and a goldy desire to see unchurched and irreligious people come to Jesus. Perhaps the most well-known label for this trend has been coined “Seeker Sensitive”. Of course, churches should be highly motivated to not only see people far from God show up on a Sunday morning, but want to return the next week and thereafter. However, what begins well can end badly.

To be clear, I wish every church had a radical commitment to reaching unchurched people, providing an experience of such warmth in the environment and community that they would want to be there. Too often, however,  when teaching and preaching come under scrutiny, church leaders begin to soften the truth and avoid topics that have the potential to make people feel uncomfortable or challenged to make a change in their life.  A church should be attracting new people with kindness. But too often, when drawing the unchurched to attend our Sunday experience and repeating the process, church environments often shift in subtle ways. The ever-increasing emphasis on not saying or doing anything that might offend or seem too demanding for a potential new convert can actually result in preaching a false gospel.

Churches emphasize the nature of the free gift of salvation, which is certainly true. We can do nothing to earn our salvation. I’m concerned that surrender and repentance of sin are ingredients that many churches seem to be leaving out the recipe when it comes to “inviting people to receive Jesus”. There’s no call to count the cost. We seem to be afraid that such a message would turn people away from salvation, but when Jesus preached and taught, He told people “Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:27).

Is it possible that when we don’t actually encourage people to count the cost when we use the language of salvation, grace, and the good news of the gospel as if those are merely benefits people can add to their current lives, with perhaps a few tweaks for good measure – like church attendance and tithing? Might this watered-down message actually inoculate them to the true gospel of the Kingdom?

There is something incredibly freeing about shedding the “skin of our old nature” and holding back nothing from this one who gave all for us. In fact, according to Jesus, this is a requirement for being His disciple.

Authentic, Kingdom salvation isn’t a system to discovering “your best life now”. It isn’t just another self-empowerment technique that one might learn in a typical self-improvement Ted-Talk.

True Christianity involves an exchange; my life for Christ’s life, death-to-self, and new life in Him. Repentance and surrender are the basic currency of this new Kingdom life. Without those, we have a mere shell of a religion that has confused and co-opted the title, “Christianity”.

While surrender is a decision and attitude of the heart which accompanies the exchanged life and faith in Jesus Christ “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Galatians 2:20, it is also something that is worked out and realized over our lifetime. “He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

Lack of love, compassion, authentic community, vulnerability, and transformation have been longstanding issues within the church – long before the sexual revolution of the 60s and the crisis we’re witnessing all around us as a result.

In addition, compromise in many churches and adoption of secular cultural norms as righteous and moral have led us, at least within the US, to a confused and diluted representation of the Kingdom. Sadly, the word “evangelical” means practically nothing these days because so many “evangelical” churches have partnered with compromise in the area of sexuality, sexual expression, and identity.  

As the human race, we have been given one identity by our creator; male and female made in God’s image. Sin veiled and damaged our image-bearing identity, but through our exchanged life with Christ, the profound gift and responsibility of bearing and revealing God’s image has been redeemed and given new life.

Why then, would we join this unfathomable inheritance of identity (God’s image-bearer) and my union with Christ with any other title – especially something that if I were to act on would be sin?

When I surrendered my life to Jesus for real in my early 20s, I knew that also meant leaving my identity as a gay man behind (or as some call it, becoming "ex-gay"). I certainly didn’t know how on earth to do this, because my attractions were exclusively toward men and felt hardwired; it felt like my identity. However, God calls us to live with faith in the driver’s seat, not feelings.

Again, as I stated above, surrender to Jesus is both a decision to hold nothing back, as well as an ongoing working out of that decision. Often, especially in the beginning, we can fail greatly walking in our new identity. The old messages and familiar temptations pull us back toward sin and coming under false labels, whatever those might be.

The Church should be very gracious in our understanding of Biblical identity redeemed and sourced in Christ alone. Over the last 10-15 years there has been a cultural explosion in popularity for discovering, embracing, and announcing one’s perceived alternative identities.

I believe the right position of the Church is neither to shift toward adopting and affirming these new identities nor should our Biblical understanding be used as a barrier against lost and hurting people to feel welcomed, loved, and wanted by our Christian community.

I often see arguments in articles or online posts explaining that in order for “LGBTQ people” to not be repulsed by the church, the only alternative is to embrace and use the language of identity, according to any individual’s perception and desired use of those monikers, as well as their preferred pronouns. I completely disagree.

If we were to apply many of the modern-day standards for “seeker-sensitivity” to Jesus’ ministry, He should have run after the rich young ruler, apologized, softened His requirements for becoming His follower, and realized His original statement was too demanding. I wonder how Jesus' “style” of ministry would be received today when His message became so distasteful that, “As a result of this many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore” (John 6:66).

As Christ-followers we must be truly, authentically loving, which means inviting hurting and confused people into our lives, our circle of friendship, and into our churches, to experience the love of Christ through us. Let’s learn from Jesus the narrow way to love both lavishly and to love in truth.