?So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. But don?t just listen to God?s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves?. James 1:21-22

Making use of several available hours in Atlanta, I?m on my way to teach at a pastor?s training in Greenville, SC, tomorrow morning. I?m on layover from St. Louis, where I attended the General Conference of the United Methodist Church ? a gathering of 800+ delegates from around the world who were tasked with revisiting and voting on the global church?s doctrinal and governing position on human sexuality and LGBTQ self-identified men and women in leadership and marriage. Even with the absence of approximately 40 orthodox African delegates unable to participate in voting due to visa or travel issues, unorthodox and centrist plans were rejected.

While the UMC reaffirmed the worth and value of all persons, they also voted to strengthen the church?s longstanding and biblically sound position on welcoming LGBTQ self-identified people to worship and fellowship, but not the ordination of practicing homosexuals or officiating gay marriages.

With about 400 people in attendance at the Good News breakfast for delegates, I was blessed to share a little of my own story of God?s faithfulness and my journey out of homosexuality. What a gift to have even a small part in affirming the wholesomeness and beauty of the biblical narrative that clearly reveals God?s design for sexual expression between one biological man and woman within the covenant of marriage, and to encourage delegates that retaining these truths is the most loving position.

I was once someone who firmly identified as a gay man, so I certainly understand the desire and even the insistence of those within the LGBTQ community for full affirmation and acceptance from the Church, along with an expectation to lead in any way and at any level they desire. However, this insistence is at odds with the clear teaching of both the Old and New Testaments.

As a man who no longer identifies as gay, but recognizes God?s call out of my wasteland of intense self-consciousness and toxic thinking, I gladly bow before and recognize God?s design as revealed in the Scriptures. As a follower of Jesus my identity is in Him alone, not in my past gay-identity or some combination of the two.

During all the debate on the floor of the General Conference I was saddened but not surprised at the misuse of Scripture by those holding an unorthodox position; pushing, delaying and doing everything possible to stall opportunities to vote for decisions that were clearly not going in their direction.

Those in favor of biblical authority and the Traditional plan were gentle, gracious and resolute. I was proud of them and their fortitude as they were committed to an authentic gospel. Even though various LGBTQ groups in the observation area would yell and disrupt, believing this vote went against them personally. I know they are mistaken.

The vote to affirm an orthodox view of human sexuality actually affirms the offer of a true salvation from the power of sin and the ultimate assurance of eternal life, rather than something that uses the same words but with entirely different meaning. A self-help, self-affirming gospel is no gospel at all. Paul calls us to put our flesh to death and embrace a new life in Christ.

What was sustained and strengthened through the vote that took place February 26, 2019, affirms the value of all persons and offers an opportunity for every man and woman (including those in the LGBTQ community) to surrender to the Lordship and authority of Jesus (the true gospel). It offers an opportunity to show love for Jesus by obeying His commands (John 14). Jesus affirms only two genders as well as marriage/sexual union between one natural man and woman in Matthew 19.

As I experienced the UMC special General Conference in St. Louis, I saw orthodox traditionalists voting to maintain and honor the clear and obvious teachings of Scripture, keeping a foundation within the UMC of the most basic gospel call to repent of sin and follow after Jesus (which includes a biblical ethic on human sexuality and who we are as persons made in the image of God). What I witnessed was grace-filled strengthening of the evangelistic witness of the UMC. What I saw was a group of compassionate, faithful men and women affirming the hope that Jesus is still the one who transforms lives, offering a process of sanctification for everyone yielded to Him and His Lordship.

As I considered the outcome of this special General Conference and the regular General Conference right around the corner in 2020, I wondered if the traditional, orthodox position that was reaffirmed would have any real impact on what the delegates will be asked to consider in 2020.

I believe most who agree with the traditionalist plan want to move on to fulfill the Great Commission given by Jesus to His Church. They want to move beyond the constant wrangling over human sexuality and defense of the Bible?s clear teachings on the matter, to share the life-changing gospel. However, it seems to me that most who embrace the unorthodox position (often referred to as progressive) are following the religious movement of LGBTQ. The tragedy is that repentance and the pursuit of transformation isn?t a part of the LGBTQ religious movement.

Amid all kinds of delay tactics and filibustering, Tom Berlin, one of the delegates speaking against the Traditional Plan, brought up the point of divorce in the church, as a way of decrying the hypocrisy of those in favor of the Traditional plan. This is an excellent and important issue for deep discussion, repentance, and teaching within the church. However, that wasn?t his point at all. Rather, he used the church?s rather tepid response to divorce to say that if we allow one area of sin to exist that is grounds for extending that into the LGBTQ arena as well and expanding the ?tent? of the denomination, as it were.

How about if we deal with the rampant issue of divorce within the Church (UMC and every other) as a serious call to repentance and healing; strengthening natural marriage and lowering the occurrence of divorce by those who claim the name of Christ, rather than using it as justification for embedding and promoting more sin and brokenness within the UMC?

Love & Truth Network is a source of hope and equipping for pastors and Christian leaders, not only within the UMC but in every church and denomination. We offer grace and truth for hopeless, defeated men, women, and youth bound in cycles of sexual sin, addiction, and identity confusion ? nothing is impossible with God. He is still at work setting sons and daughters free to live out the good of His design for His image bearers.

We need to do more than affirm truth, we need to actually be the family of God ? There is an order and design to God?s creation and a particular stewardship and responsibility given to humanity, as the only creatures gifted to bear the image of God. Throughout the creation process we see that God brings order and boundary to what was unformed. During this genesis of all things, God established the foundation and origin of human flourishing; man for woman and woman for man ? biological family. This was and is His design and structure in which children most thrive.

Further, we see God?s intention for spiritual family in Psalm 68:6. It is God?s intention for spiritual family to swallow up the crippling pain of aloneness. God?s intention was and is that even in a sinful, brokenness world, where family isn?t always safe; where abuse, neglect, rejection, and abandonment are often experienced by children and adults, that His people (His Church) would be our second chance at family, a place where we can find home, where we can find belonging. However, the modern day church in the west has become a very detached and sterilized form of ?family.?

I don?t believe God?s idea of ?He takes the lonely and puts them in families? (Psalm 68:6) equates to our one or two hours on Sunday morning. From my experience and the many people I have spoken to on the topic, even many small groups, men?s groups, or women?s gatherings do not reflect the heart of God for the family He intends His Church to be. Tragically, even in these weekly gatherings it?s rare that anyone is actually known beyond the surface of their lives, in their actual pain, temptations, or struggle with sin.

I would encourage you to pause and consider for a moment, are you fully known by anyone? If you?re in a group, has anyone been courageous enough to share deep hurts or sin struggles? Has the group actually progressed beyond a Bible or book study where people often play it safe by discussing ideas and theology rather than heart matters or deep needs? This is what spiritual family offers and it?s badly needed in the Church.

Rather than yielding to God?s design for sexual expression, maleness, femaleness, and family, in our ?great wisdom? we find ourselves repeating the rebellion and foolishness of the past. We aren?t very different from the children of Israel; blessed beyond measure by God, called to be His special and chosen people. Yet, we read time and again throughout the Old Testament that generation after generation turned away from God ?and everyone did what was right in their own eyes.? Sin, abuse, sexual immorality, and idolatry were rampant. Society sank so low that even children were burned alive to appease ?the gods.?

The full weight of human misery and the extreme cost of rebellion against God on this one issue ? how we as humans live out our sexuality ? cannot possibly be understood or calculated. Broken marriages and families, children without the value of both parents in their home, vows and covenant commitment rendered meaningless, one-night stands and sex without permanence joining people at a body, soul, and even spiritual level only to be severed the next morning or perhaps a few weeks or months down the road. We either learn to detach further, or gather up our original longings and pain as we pile on this new baggage moving on to look for another experience or ?relationship? to ease our aloneness.

Through sexually transmitted diseases ? the shame and humiliation that comes with this diagnosis, the severe health issues and even deaths that have resulted ? the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10) has had a field day. What about the ?end of the conveyor belt in a sex-saturated society? (as my friend and author, Jim Anderson, states)? 60,000,000+ babies sacrificed in the U.S. alone since 1973 on the ?sacred? altar of ?choice.? Stop and think about the number of babies killed in the womb ? it equates to metro New York City (the city and all surrounding suburbs) totally wiped out ? not once, not twice, but three times over.

As a man who once hated God and fully embraced an LGBTQ identity, I?m so thankful for the mercy, grace and forgiveness of God that comes to each of us as broken, fallen human beings through personal repentance and turning to Jesus as Savior and Lord.

It?s tragic to realize that more and more church leaders are preaching a salvation without repentance and discipleship without a cross. In the interest of not offending anyone, many are preaching a sanitized version of the gospel, which is no gospel at all. For many supposed Christian leaders today, I could have a boyfriend and Jesus would be thrilled, I could have a husband, I should leave my wife and boys and be ?true to myself??no thank you! I?ll take the true gospel and the true grace of God that empowers me (and every son or daughter) to live a transformed life, to be a good gift to my wife and a good father to my boys ? a choice that thrills my heart with joy and deep satisfaction in saying ?yes? to His design, as I watch Him change me over the course of months, years and decades.

Let?s repent and return to a God that is gracious, quick to forgive and offers a new life through surrender to His son, Jesus Christ.

I hope you?re encouraged by Micah?s testimony (below).

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Testimony: Micah?s Story ? ?Falling Forward? 

It?s another Sunday morning, like countless others. I?ve been a pastor for 7 years. As usual I have studied and prepared carefully, perhaps a little too carefully. Among other things, I?m a perfectionist. I sit with my wife and family in the front pew of my church and battle familiar internal struggles. ?If anyone really knew me I wouldn?t be their pastor.? ?I?m a fraud.? ?Do I even know Jesus?? These are just a few of the thoughts that frequently crashed over me nearly every Sunday as I was about to preach.

I grew up in the 70?s & 80?s, an only child in a conservative, church-going family in rural small-town USA. I was a sensitive, fearful kid. My mom adored me, but I had the distinct impression that no one else felt that way. I was highly aware of mean words, pointing-and-laughing and whispers I assumed were about me.

During my middle school years I was sexually abused several times by older boys. None of the encounters were overtly violent; I didn?t get hit, but I was threatened. I assumed this abuse was my fault. There was something exciting about it, as well as shaming. I began to assume this would be the only way I would experience any kind of acceptance or attention from other boys. This all began a desperate game of hide-and-seek that lasted for decades.

In junior high, I had a few same-sex experiences with boys in my neighborhood. While they were simply exploring, I was languishing to find acceptance and connection that always eluded me. During my senior year of high school, I experienced deep feelings of hopelessness and despair, crying myself to sleep many nights.

I thought attending a Christian college would be a relational utopia, and while I did build some important friendships, I never felt that I truly ?found my place.? During those years, I sought help on several occasions from authority figures, and while I was received warmly, help wasn?t consistent enough to deal with my deep wounds. I struggled with pornography and lust during those pre-internet years, but never acted out on my desires. Some of that was lack of opportunity, but much of it was lack of confidence and terror of being found out.

With all my baggage, marriage was never something I expected. However, God brought an incredible young lady into my life. We both loved God and wanted to please and serve Him. I shared my struggles with her, but she had no more idea what to do with all of that than I did. We married, and I desperately hoped that would ?fix? everything. It didn?t. 

I continued to struggle with fear, a lack of fitting in, lust, addiction to pornography and self-loathing. All this, while my wife and I served in church ministry and had several children. While I hadn?t had any physical or emotional union with anyone other than my wife since junior high, I realized that my secret fantasy life, pornography, and chronic masturbation had me deeply enslaved. I have learned in more recent years that as a pastor I am not alone in my struggles and failures.

A few years ago I learned of an opportunity to attend a day-long conference on Sexuality & The Church. I could hardly believe that such a topic was the focal-point of a Christian conference. I was shocked by Garry and Melissa Ingraham?s clear and honest teaching and their level of transparency about their own sexual and relational struggles and their history of once identifying as LGBTQ.

I desperately wanted such freedom and courage to talk about it. I could not begin to imagine what that would look like for me. After all, I?m a pastor, and pastors aren?t allowed to struggle with such things.

I eventually reached out and asked to meet with Garry. I was terrified to be known, but also desperate for change and freedom. He allowed me to feel safe with being known, a bizarre new experience for me! He made recommendations for local groups where I could be known and encouraged by others who were also working through their own deep brokenness. I had always believed that I would be isolated with my sexual struggles.

I truly believed that deep, honest, healthy male relationship were inaccessible, on the other side of a vast chasm without a bridge for me to cross. I vividly remember going to my first men?s group on Garry?s recommendation. I was physically ill and shaking when I entered. There were five other guys present that morning, and they all had known one another for a while. They went around the circle and each shared his story with astounding transparency. Two guys shared about their struggle with same-sex attraction, the other three dealt with different forms of sexual or relational brokenness. There was a warm, accepting brotherhood that I found unimaginable.

The next week I came back to find a new attender and I was no longer the newbie. Before we began to openly discuss our prior week?s victories and struggles the guys started sharing around the circle like they had the week before, for the new guy, but this time I shared my story as well. I spoke/cried and my hands shook a little from the nerves of opening up a door that I had locked and bolted for decades. 

I glanced constantly at the guy?s faces, looking for disgust or rejection, watching their body language for crossed arms or clenched fists. But I instead saw shared tears, compassion, and unconditional acceptance. I made some of my best friendships ever in that group.

I learned so much in this group, and later, through a 20-week program called Living Waters. The guys helped me to identify and reject deeply damaging lies I had believed over the years. I knew a lot of theological and biblical truth, but had experienced very little of true community, and the healing God delivers through that powerful fellowship. There have been forward strides and formidable setbacks over the last few years.

I struggle not to allow lust to rule over me, not to manipulate, not to withdraw, not to seek my value in the attention and affirmation of others, not to give up fighting and just settling for an easy path. Yet, more importantly, I now struggle for relationship, for being known, for believing the truths of God for me that I spent decades rejecting.

In community, I am recognizing more and more distortion in my thinking and my emotions. Isn?t that just how Satan works: tempting us to isolate and be utterly alone (even in a crowd of people who assume they know us) without the advantage of loving, faithful brethren to be with us, sifting through our thinking and emotions ? helping us reject lies and hear the truth through the hearty encouragement of God?s family ? a family that actually knows the good, they bad and the ugly of our lives and encourages us on toward sanctification?

I no longer use pornography, though I still struggle with many everyday images. I now have a community of transparent men and women with whom I have also chosen to be transparent and real. I am no longer alone and no longer fighting this battle alone. Change isn?t quick or easy, but it does come. God has always been and will always be faithful. I am learning to trust that more and more as I fall forward into Him.