“In the American church, my fear is that many people have been inoculated to the gospel,” my pastor said. “They think they have the real thing, but they’re confusing a form of religion for authentic Christian faith” (Rev. John Hawco).

This is a perfect description of the kind of faith I had growing up in my Christian family and church. I also lived with a secret — many shameful secrets. Sexual abuse and early sexualization by peers led to porn addiction and chronic masturbation. To make matters worse, as a boy and young man growing up in a culture of Christian fundamentalism, my emotional and sexual attractions were toward other guys. I lived in the dominant shadow of a religious, rules-based Christianity, while desire for gay relationships and curiosity about LGBTQ+ culture grew intensely.

This is a story of a God who relentlessly pursues. This is a story that reveals what the church does not often do well regarding sexual sin or identity struggles. More importantly, it’s a story of how the church can be far better — equipped to live in love and truth through strength and compassion; inviting broken people into genuine and growing relationships with Jesus and His authentic community. The church can become a vibrant, well-prepared “teaching hospital” for all the issues and brokenness embraced today by hurting people craving belonging and purpose, love and meaning.

I once was broken and lost. I invite you to learn my story — how I found belonging, purpose, and meaning through the greatest and most enduring love of God.

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